Have you got the feeling, that it consumes you from the inside but you still don't know what it is?
Some say it is Emptiness, others say you become numb & hollow inside as if you are living dead. you stop reacting to anything in any way as you used to be. You are not careless, but everything that matters to you now becoming useless and less valuable.
Sometimes you feel it's crushing pressure, inside your mind & heart, the unwanted pressure squishing the oxygen out of your lungs & you can't even scream coz you are running out of air to breathe. The Panic starts following through your veins to every inch of your body and then you try to comfort your chest by breathing deeply, trying to stop the tears from falling out of your eyes.
Sometimes you sit alone in the darkness and find yourself staring at the ceiling or wall for no specific reason yet, no thoughts are looming over your brain to make you detached from reality. You fight constantly whether to crave another person's presence or you are enjoying your own lone company. In some cases, people become Homebody and rarely leave the comfort of home.
The Confusion of constantly fighting for ourselves triggers so many random good and bad memories and random blanks out. You sit idle for hours, thinking nothing or your thoughts go supersonic speed and you can't catch one.
The mental breaking point could be more dangerous and disastrous than anyone can imagine. Nowadays, it is more & more trendy to live a sad pathetic depressed life without any serious attempt to find happiness and a solution, even one knows what makes them feel better. It's like they find solace in constant suffering. It's getting normalized on social norms.
Some people are underprivileged to talk about this openly even with family or friends for fear of getting rejected or dismissed by their loved ones.
Those who are in direct reach of getting help to understand this state of mind don't even fight the urge to leave the bed. This is not exactly Depression but it lingers the same as it is.
The longer you stay like this, the more detached a person becomes, from reality, the people around, and the happening around, he/she doesn't bother much about the truth anymore, which can usually be started with a small betrayal experience in their personal life.
It leads to various health conditions, including, lethargy, fatigue, dry mouth, more sleep, weight gain or weight loss, and no urge to do anything productive yet the chaos inside the mind will make you restless. I am writing my own thoughts after a very long time mostly when I get this low and generally when I am suffering from the same state of mind, I can connect with other individuals as it backfires sometimes.
The constantly tired mind gets frustrated with the nagging, the complaints, the lifestyle, the people you choose, the food you eat, the way you look, and every single thing becomes irritation. Sometimes I feel the anger boils inside for no reason and want to smash someone or something very badly. (Maybe the broken part of my heart & mind needs healing and I need to stop forcing myself and apologize to myself first).
Self-loving and self-caring is not only a lifestyle or duty, It's a process that you adapt slowly into your daily routine, and even though you don't like specific things in your life, still you need to force your mind to do it for betterment. True happiness for people is long gone, Everything is automatic & instant in this 21st-century era, so to train the brain to find peace or even feel happiness at the most is something challenging.
You may ask anyone around any time whether they feel happy or they are actually happy and you will find the difference. Everyone that is being asked will struggle to explain the exact thing.
The detachment is good up to some extent for some specific things in a good way, but if you keep on flowing with the flow, it may lead to hatred, unbearable behaviors, getting impatient with everything, and a blank state of mind. If you don't take counsel or help to understand the reasons behind it, you will be the most struggling & confused person living like a dead.
I am no expert or someone who will guide others for betterment since I am struggling with most of the symptoms myself. But till today, whatever I faced, whatever I came to know, the differences, the knowledge, to hold patience or calming myself down in panic mode, to start accepting the reality in the current happenings definitely taught me a good and big differences & lessons to at least managing it quietly without much bustle. If you are interested in knowing how I am doing it on my own, drop me an email at (ashesofmytimeinpast@gmail.com). And if you can help me out and others for the better sake of humanity... SAVE US.
❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈❉❈
© Hena Ghosh
Photo from pexels (by cottonbro studio)
 ){kind=link}
0 Comments